Friendship is one of the most important things in life. The presence of which contributes greatly to our happiness, and the absence of which, somehow, contributes to our rather, unhappiness. All in all, friendship is key.
You’re now wondering who am I to come out of the blue to start writing this without even saying hi to you after so long. The good news is, you’re not the only one. I’m also wondering. Aha. Anyways, how are you? It’s been so long I’d gone for a writing break to clear my mind, and do all those things people who go for breaks do. Unlike most relationships that go for breaks and eventually breakup, I’m glad ours(me and you my lovely readers), hasn’t gone to that extent. I hope you are well.
Back to the topic..ahm..what was it again? Aaaha.. Friendship. We all have friends. Some of them more close than others. We love them and we treasure them and we’d do anything for them. Literally. And some of them would do the same for us. They are close to our hearts and our bodies. Those who get close to our bodies, come with benefits like hugs, handshakes, and..uhm..sex. Yes. Those are what we call friends with benefits.
It is common belief that it’s hard to be just friends with benefits with someone and none of the parties involved doesn’t catch feelings. In the process of hugging, and touching and kissing and sharing fluids, the heart gets weak, and catches feelings. At first you were okay with just meeting up and doing the deed and going away. You wouldn’t care if they did the same with others. I mean, you’re just friends that enjoy each other, no strings attached at all. But along the way, things have changed. In the process of your bodies getting attached, your heart gets attached too!
You don’t want them to do the deed with someone else. You want them only for you. You want them to give you more than one part of their body. You want the heart as well. What’s baffling though, is you are not sure if they want the same thing, but the heart doesn’t give a f.... Also, truthfully, this is not what you signed up for. But honestly, who signs up for things to do with matters of the heart? Sh.t just happens & you start feeling things dammit!
Anyway, let me not waste your valuable time I know you have other things to read. Like books, and newspapers, and tweets. Speaking of tweets, this article was inspired by a tweet from one @v_tigues on Twitter, who provided a list of things to do, or not do, if you want to keep reaping the benefits from your friend, but keep your heart, and their heart, from starting to feel stupid things like butterflies in the stomach.
Allow me expand (I’ll expand even if you don’t allow me..aha).
1. Don't think about them:
Thoughts lead to a lot of things my friend, including catching feelings. Instead of thinking about your friend with benefits, think about other things, like the benefits themselves. You can think about why people keep on comparing Messi & Cristiano Ronaldo, or why some people think pineapple should be on pizza(*whispers* I’m one of those people), etc. Whatever it is, don’t think about your friend with benefits lest you catch feelings.
2. Dislike them.
You’re probably asking yourself, is it possible to have sex with someone you dislike? Well, the answer is yes. It is very possible. If both of you like it, it doesn’t matter if you like each other or not. The dislike is not in a way that you don’t want anything to do with that person, no. The dislike is in a way that you restrict your eyes from seeing them as potential partners, and stupid heart from catching any feelings. Liking leads to loving and that’s the last thing you want.
3. Don't text/talk to them on a daily basis.
Communication is key to opening a lot of things from business networks to hearts. Let your communication only open up legs. Nothing else. Texting and calling them all the time will render you vulnerable to thinking about them and liking them and before you know it, you’ll be in love. Bro, or sis, don’t even text them late in the night unless it’s a booty call/text. Late night conversations turn into romantic ones real quick and words like I really miss you, and I love you may slip out. Keep your communication minimal.
4. No missionary position.
Missionary position is one of the most common, yet underrated sex positions ever. The fact that you’re on top of her(or the reverse for our sisters) makes you make eye contact most of the time you’re at it. Every time you look into their eyes full of lust(or love thereof), a part of you will feel like you’ll want that sight only for you, forever. Which we are trying to avoid. So please, avoid the result by avoiding the cause first. There are lots of no-look positions.
5. Don't ask them for favours.
The only favour you should be asking from your friend with benefits, are the benefits alone. Nothing else. Keep it professional fam no things like cuddling during the rainy season or buying them gifts for Valentine’s day or Christmas. When you ask for a favour there’s a way it makes you feel like you owe someone something and among such owed things is a requital or what they did for you, which will spark off affections.
6. After the sex, ghost.
This is not a joke. Let the person acknowledge that the sex is appreciated so they get the morale to do it next time, but please, stay far far away from them, until of course, the next time you want it. No things like after-sex selfies, romantic messages of appreciation, and/talking about it all the time. What’s done is done. You came..ahm..literally, you should be gone a.s.ap.
7. Be a sweetheart today and rude the next day.
Sweet talk them when you want it, and when you’re at it. After it, change colours(I’m not talking about bleaching please). Don’t make them feel important. Be rude but not abusive, nor violent. Ignore their calls and texts sometimes. The point is to have the benefits, not to have the person that gives you the benefits. I hope I’m making some sense.
8. Be their wingman.
The best way to show someone that you don’t want them in a serious relationship is to try to set them up with someone. Otherwise why’d you do it if you want them for yourself?
If you have other ways of avoiding catching feelings for your friend with benefits? I’m glad to listen to..or read them..whatever works. Put them in the comments below.
You’re now wondering who am I to come out of the blue to start writing this without even saying hi to you after so long. The good news is, you’re not the only one. I’m also wondering. Aha. Anyways, how are you? It’s been so long I’d gone for a writing break to clear my mind, and do all those things people who go for breaks do. Unlike most relationships that go for breaks and eventually breakup, I’m glad ours(me and you my lovely readers), hasn’t gone to that extent. I hope you are well.
Back to the topic..ahm..what was it again? Aaaha.. Friendship. We all have friends. Some of them more close than others. We love them and we treasure them and we’d do anything for them. Literally. And some of them would do the same for us. They are close to our hearts and our bodies. Those who get close to our bodies, come with benefits like hugs, handshakes, and..uhm..sex. Yes. Those are what we call friends with benefits.
It is common belief that it’s hard to be just friends with benefits with someone and none of the parties involved doesn’t catch feelings. In the process of hugging, and touching and kissing and sharing fluids, the heart gets weak, and catches feelings. At first you were okay with just meeting up and doing the deed and going away. You wouldn’t care if they did the same with others. I mean, you’re just friends that enjoy each other, no strings attached at all. But along the way, things have changed. In the process of your bodies getting attached, your heart gets attached too!
You don’t want them to do the deed with someone else. You want them only for you. You want them to give you more than one part of their body. You want the heart as well. What’s baffling though, is you are not sure if they want the same thing, but the heart doesn’t give a f.... Also, truthfully, this is not what you signed up for. But honestly, who signs up for things to do with matters of the heart? Sh.t just happens & you start feeling things dammit!
Anyway, let me not waste your valuable time I know you have other things to read. Like books, and newspapers, and tweets. Speaking of tweets, this article was inspired by a tweet from one @v_tigues on Twitter, who provided a list of things to do, or not do, if you want to keep reaping the benefits from your friend, but keep your heart, and their heart, from starting to feel stupid things like butterflies in the stomach.
Allow me expand (I’ll expand even if you don’t allow me..aha).
1. Don't think about them:
Thoughts lead to a lot of things my friend, including catching feelings. Instead of thinking about your friend with benefits, think about other things, like the benefits themselves. You can think about why people keep on comparing Messi & Cristiano Ronaldo, or why some people think pineapple should be on pizza(*whispers* I’m one of those people), etc. Whatever it is, don’t think about your friend with benefits lest you catch feelings.
2. Dislike them.
You’re probably asking yourself, is it possible to have sex with someone you dislike? Well, the answer is yes. It is very possible. If both of you like it, it doesn’t matter if you like each other or not. The dislike is not in a way that you don’t want anything to do with that person, no. The dislike is in a way that you restrict your eyes from seeing them as potential partners, and stupid heart from catching any feelings. Liking leads to loving and that’s the last thing you want.
3. Don't text/talk to them on a daily basis.
Communication is key to opening a lot of things from business networks to hearts. Let your communication only open up legs. Nothing else. Texting and calling them all the time will render you vulnerable to thinking about them and liking them and before you know it, you’ll be in love. Bro, or sis, don’t even text them late in the night unless it’s a booty call/text. Late night conversations turn into romantic ones real quick and words like I really miss you, and I love you may slip out. Keep your communication minimal.
4. No missionary position.
Missionary position is one of the most common, yet underrated sex positions ever. The fact that you’re on top of her(or the reverse for our sisters) makes you make eye contact most of the time you’re at it. Every time you look into their eyes full of lust(or love thereof), a part of you will feel like you’ll want that sight only for you, forever. Which we are trying to avoid. So please, avoid the result by avoiding the cause first. There are lots of no-look positions.
5. Don't ask them for favours.
The only favour you should be asking from your friend with benefits, are the benefits alone. Nothing else. Keep it professional fam no things like cuddling during the rainy season or buying them gifts for Valentine’s day or Christmas. When you ask for a favour there’s a way it makes you feel like you owe someone something and among such owed things is a requital or what they did for you, which will spark off affections.
6. After the sex, ghost.
This is not a joke. Let the person acknowledge that the sex is appreciated so they get the morale to do it next time, but please, stay far far away from them, until of course, the next time you want it. No things like after-sex selfies, romantic messages of appreciation, and/talking about it all the time. What’s done is done. You came..ahm..literally, you should be gone a.s.ap.
7. Be a sweetheart today and rude the next day.
Sweet talk them when you want it, and when you’re at it. After it, change colours(I’m not talking about bleaching please). Don’t make them feel important. Be rude but not abusive, nor violent. Ignore their calls and texts sometimes. The point is to have the benefits, not to have the person that gives you the benefits. I hope I’m making some sense.
8. Be their wingman.
The best way to show someone that you don’t want them in a serious relationship is to try to set them up with someone. Otherwise why’d you do it if you want them for yourself?
If you have other ways of avoiding catching feelings for your friend with benefits? I’m glad to listen to..or read them..whatever works. Put them in the comments below.
Bonus - Don't cuddle and NO eye contact
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely.
DeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteCath
Hehehe funny
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