7 signs that show you've been replaced in a relationship

Wuh... I have not done this – writing here – in a long time; I wonder if I even still have followers. Y’all probably think I dumped you or something but that is not it. I still have you, my lovely readers, at the back of my mind, which is the most important part of the brain, no, seriously, I am not trying to finesse you, look it up. 

Although I have not been writing here, I have been writing every day, uhm, for money, you know, bills have to be paid and kids have to drink milk with bread and butter. 

Henewe, don’t think I dumped you. I don’t do silent dumping so if our relationship got sour I’d come here with a farewell blog post to break things off like adults. 

Speaking of dumping and breaking things off, this article is intended for the purposes of letting you know about the signs that you have been dumped. That your relationship is myeee, especially when your partner does not have the guts to tell you, or they are just too uninterested to even tell you that they are no longer interested in your relationship. But you know that already because duh, it’s in the title.

As a person that has been in several relationships, allow me to put on my Uncle Norman hat and take you through this. Please. I’ll take you through it even if you don’t allow me so.. 

1. They break communication 

You see, apart from having the same taste in music, communication is the most important thing in a relationship. When the relationship was going good, you would call your partner and they would be so eager to hear from you. They would regularly call you too. 

You would spend hours talking on the phone or texting, telling each other important things like how your health is, how your day went, work stuff, etc., and all kinds of useless things like how you’d die or kill for them or walk in the fire on their behalf yet you can’t even touch the fire on a matchstick.

Communication in a relationship is key. 

 

 Now, none of that is happening. They no longer call you. You call and they don’t pick. Your texts are blueticked. At some point, you feel like you no longer even know what is going on in their life. They might even die and won’t tell you. Can you imagine that? 

A wise man, or woman, I don’t remember well, once said that if conversations are getting shorter with you, they’re most probably getting longer with someone else. You, my friend, might have been replaced. 

2. They no longer want to see you 

So you don’t live together but used to see each other every week. They would find time in their busy schedule to spend a few hours with you. Matter of fact, you were a part of their busy schedule. But that has changed. 

You no longer see each other. Every time you want to see them, they are busy with something, something more important than spending some time with their partner (you), or they are just not in the mood. If you don’t suggest seeing them, they’ll never do as well. 

They cancel plans, sometimes without even telling you. You, my friend, are no longer that important to them, probably because someone else has taken your place. Ouch! 

3. When you finally agree to meet, they come late on purpose

You will say we need to be patient, and that good things take time and blah blah but we are not waiters or waitresses here and you are not food. Ok sometimes you are but you get my point. Let’s be honest, making an appointment with someone that comes late every time is one of the worst feelings ever, up there with feelings of emptiness and loneliness. It is actually disrespectful. 

When things were good, they would be on time, but now they are like, “He/she will wait. If he/she doesn’t want awamidu lemidu lesidu.” They are intentionally late because, first of all, check sign number two up there, secondly, so that they don’t spend much time with you. 

They say waiting is a sign of love but it is not love to intentionally keep the other person waiting. You are no longer worth their time. They probably want to see someone else, your replacement, big ahead. 

4. Your conversations have turned into arguments 

People fall in love because they agree on more things than they disagree. You both agree that you want to do this, to be together, to go to places together, to laugh at things together, to enjoy avocado together, etc. 

You may disagree on less important things like having pineapple on pizza or which football teams you support because not everyone is smart enough to know that Arsenal is better *cough cough* but the more you agree, the less you argue. 

Constant arguments are signs of the end.

Now, you agree less. Too less that you might text them good morning and they say “No it’s afternoon here,” and then you argue. If almost every kind of conversation you try to have with your partner turns into an argument, my friend, chances are, you have been replaced, and they found someone with more “agreements” than you. 

5. They openly flirt with other people 

Ok we know some people are friendly and all but flirting with other people and openly sending out ‘come get me’ pleas is a completely different thing. It is an indicator that you are no longer considered viable.

When someone is truly invested in you, they will not have the need to lead on other people into “getting to them.” This is so annoying I won’t even say much about it. 

6. There’s limited intimacy 

Let us be honest, apart from feeling loved, and curing loneliness, people get into relationships for intimacy. You know, things like tight hugs, long deep kisses, and mind-blowing sex. If all these were heavenly and it reaches a time when you get very little to none of them from your partner, then there is a problem. 

They are never in the mood, they are hesitant whenever you touch them, the long tight hugs have become brief and distant, the deep kisses have ceased to happen, and getting a peck is even a miracle. My friend, what you enjoy too little of, someone, your replacement, might be enjoying much of it.  

7. They no longer spend on you 

This is mostly for the ladies, as they are spent on the most. We all know that men are providers, even with the gender equality movements going on right now, men are required and are supposed to take care of their women and however little he has, if he is truly invested in you, he will spend on you. 

When there is no change in his income but he stops spending on you, my sister, chances are he no longer sees you as someone worth spending on. There are even higher chances that he is spending on someone else. 

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There you have it. In case you spot any of the above signs, don’t cry, because it is not automatic that the relationship has ended. Have a mature talk with your partner to address the issues and fix things. If they can’t be fixed, move on and find someone else. 

Now it’s okay to cry at this stage. Love is beautiful but it can be painful too. 

*Takes off hat*