Uncle Norman’s top five things that keep a relationship: Number three will surprise you

There is plenty of literature about love and relationships. Millions of books, journals, blogs, and research papers among others have been written by professors, therapists, love doctors professional, amateurs and fake alike, songs sung and movies produced, and still, relationships fail because even though we feed our brains with this information, we tend to forget that the heart has a mind of its own. A famous singer once said that the heart wants what it wants and I could not agree more.

I would like to put on my “Uncle Norman” hat and contribute to this widely discussed topic, because I am a strong believer in lasting relationships and I would not like to see anyone’s relationship fail, except for that one bastard that is currently dating my future wife. That one I want it to end as soon as possible I am tired of waiting. Otherwise, love is beautiful, especially when it is with the right person.

In this short piece, I have highlighted the top five things that I believe will guarantee you and your partner a lasting relationship. PS: This will not work if you are dating my future wife (Ok I need to stop saying this).

Let’s dive in...

1.       Having the same level of sex drive

Yup! This had to come first. Now, I hear quite a lot of people saying that a relationship is not all about sex and although I believe that there is more to a relationship than just sex, a relationship without intimacy will most definitely fail.

Sex is important in a relationship, and a lack of it will get you mad over small things like “why the grass is green or why water is wet?” However, having the same level of sex drive is importanter. If your libido is high, it is important to have someone that is okay with that and will serve you whenever and sometimes wherever.

You do not want to be in a relationship with someone that wants to do it once a month yet you want it five times a week. That is how people cheat to get their cravings satisfied and before you know it; your relationship is out of the window, or any other exit point.  

2.       Having the same level of sense of humour

Apart from food, the easiest way to make your way to someone’s heart is by making them laugh. Relationships should be fun, filled with laughter and all. If you cannot make your partner laugh in a conversation, chances are your relationship will not last and before you know it, they will soon look for an Anne Kansime or a Dickson Zizinga.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying you should be a comedian; all I am saying is that you and your partner should be able to humour each other up in almost equal measures. You do not want to have someone by your side that you have to explain the joke to all the time or someone that is always serious as if they will make it out of this life alive. Loosen up and laugh a little. 

After a long day when your partner tells you how tough their day was, they want someone that will be able to light up the moment not by paying the electricity bill alone, but by making the moment lighter through laughter, mind-blowing sex, and all. Laughter is medicine, my doctor friends told me so, unless it is COVID-19, then you, my friend, need to get treatment because you will not laugh the virus off.

3.      When both of you pick each other's sarcasm without even trying

A sarcastic person needs someone that will pick their sarcasm with ease or even better, be sarcastic in equal measure. A relationship where you have to always tell your partner that you are being sarcastic every time you are because they get offended by your words or anything like that will not go far because even after telling them not to take things literally, sometimes, hell most times, they will. 

4.      Having an almost similar taste in music, movies

Although our differences sometimes make our entanglements better, having many similarities will help your relationship thrive. Having the same taste in music is so essential that it made it to this list.

Imagine grooving to the same kind of sound singing along the songs together and pulling the same moves, agreeing that Michael Jackson is the real GOAT, and enjoying the same kind of movies! Wonderful, right?

Do you see how it will be easier for you to go to music concerts and movie premieres together, something that will only make your relationship stronger because you enjoy doing the same things? If you do not see that, well, blame your imagination.      

5.      Both of you being equally dumb or equally smart.

Do I really need to explain this? If you are smart, you already understand it, and if you are not, well, you will not even if I explain it. Do you see what I am driving at or I need to point you back to number three for reference?

***

Editor’s (who is me, aha) note:

The points I have mentioned above should be accompanied by love, respect, loyalty, faithfulness, and generosity towards your partner.

If your relationship ticks all the above points but you still find yourself on the rocks, pray about it, and after, let it go. There is no point in watering a dead flower.