Things parents need to know

Some of us cannot preserve our dignity and well-being if we remain connected to one or both of our parents. This is not to say that we don’t do our best to heal and preserve those relationships, but sometimes it is simply not possible and it is not healthy to continue.Unfortunately, many who have made the brave, necessary decision to disconnect are met with a shaming, shunning response from others. It is one of the most destructive and imprisoning guilt trips of all time “But she’s your mother”, “But he’s your father”, “They did their best”, “You owe them your life” etc. This has to stop. You can be sure that if someone is considering disconnecting from members of their family of origin, there must be very legitimate reasons for doing so. Even if they did their best, that doesn’t mean we have to stay in contact with them.
That doesn't give them rights to hurt us, or disrespect us. I think respect should be mutual. I don't really care whether you respect yourself or not, whether you are gay/straight/fat/skinny/tall/short/beautiful/ugly/rich/poor or whatever, as long as you respect me, I'll always respect you. But some parents think that being "parents", they can do as they please to their children, and command respect later!
That's not how it should be. What I know for sure is that every person that disconnects from their parents, has really tried all ways to mend that relationship, but reached a point where it's too much, where they couldn't take it anymore, where the only option left was to let go, and try to figure out how to live better without them. Some wounds cut too deep. Some bridges have been permanently burnt. Some people do not change. Parents need to understand that time comes when we have to make our own choices/mistakes/ plans, etc and account for the risks involved, and during that time, the best thing they can do is to advise and guide, not dictate. When they do the latter, that's where problems arise from!

Let’s get this straight - you are not a bad person if you choose to say good bye to abusive family members. You have every right to preserve your emotional integrity.