Marriage: Does it still really matter?

I always imagined a wedding day to be so different — wonderful. You'd have your friends come with you. Your family would be there to witness the start of your own family. That you would be excited, and in love, and looking forward to a bright future with the person you chose because you love him more than anyone or anything in the world.

Marriage has become so difficult nowadays and fornication has become so easy. Why is that? Usually when someone wants to get married, they get obsessed with the day, the dress, the venue, the food, the cards, the gifts, the honeymoon, the guest list. In our grandparents’ era, marriage was finalised and conducted in a few days with little fuss. These days though, because of these material factors, some people are simply not getting married due to costs and expectations. Nowadays if someone has a small wedding in the mosque or church, people start talking. They all expect a lavish ceremony matching a King’s. We all know some women whose parents have barred them from marrying their loved ones because their men are seen as not financially stable enough to afford what they call a decent ceremony and the overly priced bride price. I think we need to put less pressure on children who want to get married for the right reasons (love), which may last a lifetime, and not to put on a show, which only lasts for a few hours.

Really getting second thoughts about this marriage thing.

See, I want to marry once and live happily ever after with my wife, but marriage scares me sometimes. So I've chosen this special woman that I love from the earth to the moon and back (Is that how that phrase is supposed to be? Lol, but you get the point), to spend my entire life with. I keep wondering what if somewhere along the way she finds someone more interesting, fancier, and more awesome and she leaves me? What if I wake up one day and feel absolutely nothing for her? Such things happen. People say true love lasts forever, but I have seen true love coming and going! True love ending. Someone that once meant the world to you, someone you loved more than anything comes one day and all the feelings are gone. They have become less interesting, they have started behaving in a way they never behaved before you guys said I do, the one sweet and loving and caring woman is no longer anything like that! That sh*t really scares the hell out of me.

I always ask myself how those people that have celebrate a golden jubilee do it! How do they keep the flame burning in their marriage for so long? I cannot even keep a relationship for a year (Though I do not consider that my fault, it is the other person, trust me. Aha). I think having a happy marriage comes because of a healthy relationship first. Now last night I bumped into my O' Level OB. with his girlfriend. This is the same girl he had back in 2007, when they were only around 16. Do you know what that means people? It means they have been together for 8 years. 8 full years. I could not ask how they managed to go that long and strong because it was kind of late in the night. I was just happy for them. They hooked up when they were young, but now have grown together, in love.

They made me continue believing that love is still possible. I want that kind of relationship. I want to look back and tell people like, "Hey, I and my girlfriend have been together for now 8 years and we're getting married next year.” My longest relationship lasted for only 1½ years. Yeah I need prayers I know.

See that???

Under normal circumstances, a person marries that other person they love the most. Their best friend. That "favourite" human being they would spend their entire life with. However, think about this; Marriage is like choosing to eat your favourite dish, for the rest of your life. Say rice and beans is your favourite dish. That is rice and beans for breakfast, lunch, and supper, during weekdays and weekends, normal days and public holidays, on Christmas and Eid, even on your birthday for God's sake. Even when you want to change and have some beef and potatoes, you cannot. Because you chose rice and beans for the rest of your life. I think now we know people cheat in search for a balanced diet. Ha-ha.

In marriage, our duty should be to one another, before anything or anyone else. Because we are the element of the marriage. Marriage is difficult when there is no trust, and honesty. How can a union meant to last a lifetime between two people hope to survive without the traits above?