Top 5 Things Shs2.5 Billion Can do For Uganda

Social media is awash with uproar about the “huge” amount of money the government of Uganda is going to spend for the funeral of fallen Speaker of Parliament Jacob Oulanyah. The money in question is Shs.2.5 billion, and although the general public has reacted with shock, asking questions like why this much is going to be spent on a dead person yet it can be used to better the lives of the living, government and its proponents have come out to say this is “small small” money. I’ would also like to believe this is small small money, but the fact that it is going to be borrowed, makes me think otherwise.

Anyway, I have come up with my top five list of things I feel can be done using that ka 2.5 b.

Buy our government some shame

I have not seen one, but I am sure the government knows a shop or supermarket or mall (they are so many in Kampala, damn) where shame is sold, and I think they should go there and buy some for themselves. This government needs to have some shame on the decisions they make, especially the things they spend our (the taxpayer) money on.

Over the years, we have seen the government (aimlessly, and annoyingly) spending loads of money on things that make you wonder if right-thinking people are present when these decisions are being made. Remember the Shs20 million every MP got during the pandemic? Remember the golden handshake? Remember the BoU pens? Yes, you remember. And I am sure they remember. I am certain that if they use this ka money to buy some shame, maybe they will stop spending the small ka money we have carelessly.   

Actually construct a decent hospital

Listen, I’m not a civil engineer, or structural engineer, or whatever those people that design buildings and estimate the cost are called, but I know Shs2.5 billion can put up a good hospital, especially in Omoro, or refurbish the existing one(s) and equip them with necessities. You can even the name it “The Jacob Oulanyah Health Centre”, or whatever fits.

Buy us some soap and cooking oil

With the commodity prices rising each and every day and our Finance Minister saying there’s nothing government can do at the moment about this, and others claiming it’s about the war in Ukraine (I think it’s a stretch), we could really use some help from the government, since there’s money to spend.

Source: NTV Uganda. 

Because of the high prices of cooking oil and soap, the rolex (not the high-end watch) has become more expensive, we rarely eat fried food these days (Dr Kasenene is not complaining here), we shower less (but this is not excuse to smell like a goat, please), and we repeat clothes so we don’t have to do laundry every so often. 

With this Shs2.5 billion that’s going to benefit the dead and a few other living, the gov’t could buy everyone a sachet of oil and a bar of soap to carry us through the next month at least.

A power source alternative for whenever it rains

It is common knowledge that the moment the clouds gather up in the sky in Uganda, Umeme cuts off power supply. It is quite sad that we actually celebrate and be surprised when it rains and power doesn’t “go.” With this Shs.2.5 billion, I think government could get the country an alternative power source for us to use every time it rains, or drizzles.

UMEME running to switch off power every time it rains pic.twitter.com/EYLTDW5uHH

— SEGRO© 🌪 (@___jo21) September 21, 2021

Iftar

Ok you might smoke me for this one but here me out: Ramadhan is just days away and most Muslims are going to be fasting. During Ramadhan, the most important meal is the Iftar, that meal eaten at sunset as we break our fast and there’s no better deed than providing a hungry and thirsty Muslim with iftar.

You might be wondering how this helps the whole country but hear me out still: Over the years, muslims have been claiming that they are targeted by government in some ways so this would greatly improve government image in the eyes of over 9.1 million Muslims in this country. Also, during iftar, Muslims pray, and we believe the prayer at that moment is always answered. Who knows, we might pray for our beloved country to reach middle income status by the end of this year, and achieve Vision 2040 goals in 2023. If prayer can move mountains, what about small small years? See? It’s a win-win situation.

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Do you know any other things that ka money can be used? Let me kow in the comments below.

PS: The writer acknowledges that the constitution provides for a state funeral to be accorded to the fallen Speaker of Parliament. The writer also knows sarcasm and satire and hopes the reader does too.